My very first Tarot reading with my very first Tarot deck was like that.

Fool Closeups from Jean Dodal, Thoth, and RWS Tarot.

Let me tell you, I didn’t really appreciate it back then. I was an ignorant newbie who was hoping for a profound and pompous and grandiose reading with fancy and dramatic cards. Instead, the deck fooled me – both figuratively and very much literally.

Let me share this foolish tale with you. It features an ignorant (and a bit arrogant) newbie Tarot reader, a brutally honest and provocative Tarot deck, and an annoying reading that took a few months to sink in.

The Point of No Return: How It All Began

A friend of mine introduced me to Tarot in 2007, about a couple of years ago. She brought her Thoth Tarot and an accompanying book with her and let me experiment with her cards. I was both curious and a bit skeptical at first, but soon my skepticism turned into wide-eyed amazement and some major jaw-hanging. The cards were so spot on it was eerie!

That was the point of no return for me. I wanted my very own Tarot deck.

I learned that I should choose a deck that “speaks” to me, so to speak. I spent hours reading about different decks and watching sample images on the web. No matter how many decks I browsed through, the Thoth deck kept calling for me, although I knew it wasn’t exactly recommended for newbies.

To hell with recommendations, I thought. I went ahead, bought the Thoth deck, and borrowed the accompanying book from a local library.

The Fool’s First Tarot Reading

I handled my new deck with care and respect; I even blessed it before beginning to use it. Somehow, it felt natural for me to consider the deck as a separate, conscious entity with a personality of its own, so I did. It’s a habit I still have, by the way.

As a get-to-know ritual, I separated the Major Arcana, shuffled the cards and asked the deck, “What is your nature? What do you represent to me?” Being a newbie and having almost zero understanding of the cards, I was secretly hoping for the Hierophant, the Priestess, or some other cool or profound or pompous or grandiose card.

No. The goddamn deck gave me the Fool. The Fool! Of all the 22 cards, the deck had the nerve to give me the Fool! Being a complete newbie, all I knew about the card was the label. And the label wasn’t exactly cool or profound or grandiose.

When I consulted the accompanying book, I somewhat managed to understand the card meant a new beginning, but I was still disappointed. I felt as if the deck was teasing me and making fun of me. Besides, the card itself was ugly. The face of that fool was totally creeping me out.

Actually, the Thoth Fool is still creeping me out a bit… but I can deal with it.

The “Aha!” Moment

A few months later, when I had learned a little more about Tarot and its symbolism, the message finally sinked in.

I realized I couldn’t have gotten a better card to describe my first deck. While doing my very first reading, I was at the beginning of my Fool’s Journey. I hadn’t really worked with Tarot yet, so my brand new Thoth deck represented the Great Unknown, the moment I was about to step off the cliff. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing with Tarot, but I approached it with enthusiasm and naïve trust. The Fool’s Journey was awaiting me, although at the time, I had never even heard of that term!

When I finally realized what the Fool card meant, I felt grateful. And amazed. The deck was so right. The deck was so right I wasn’t able to understand it at the moment.

Milestones on My Fool’s Journey

Now, a couple of years later, I’m feeling even more amazed and grateful. That first reading with that first Tarot deck was the beginning of a marvelous Fool’s Journey, indeed. My journey didn’t turn out to be what I was expecting for when I took the leap of faith and jumped off the cliff… it turned out to be so much more!

Psychic growth: Tarot is the very first psychic tool I’ve ever used. When I began exploring the world of Tarot, I had just broken free from the fundamentalist Christian religion I was raised in. I was well on my way of developing a rather skeptical, atheistic, and materialistic view of the world. Tarot turned it all upside down.

I was forced to see, with my very own eyes, that Tarot simply seemed to work although there was no way of explaining it. It opened my rational and scientific mind to accept the possibility that there may be many things out there that are real even though science can’t explain them yet. As a result, I began to approach other psychic phenomena with a more open mind as well.

Beloved hobby: My first experiment with Tarot also turned into a hobby. I’m collecting Tarot decks because they are all similar but different: they follow a certain system and contain certain symbolism, but each deck interprets these common themes in a different and unique way. Also, Tarot cards are amazing pieces of art. Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m a sucker for pretty pictures.

Even if I stopped reading Tarot cards altogether, I’d still continue collecting Tarot decks because I like them so much.

Thoth goodness: My first reading was also the beginning of an interesting relationship with a Tarot deck that turned out to have a complex personality of its own. Like I mentioned before, I consider all my Tarot decks to have unique personalities, but the personality of Thoth seems to be the strongest.

My Thoth deck is like a wise, but cranky and mischievous old man, like a grandfather who likes me a lot. It’s like someone who feels sympathy towards me and wants to help me, but who also gets impatient with me because I’m so young and stupid. The deck often seems to tell me, “Listen missy, you think you know it all but you ain’t knowin’ nothing yet. Let papa tell you.”

Since then, I’ve bought a few other Tarot decks and enjoy reading with them, but Thoth is still my favorite Tarot deck. It’s frighteningly accurate when I treat it right, annoyingly mischievous when I don’t.

Oh, and I still think the damn thing is teasing me and making fun of me.